Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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