oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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