I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
