yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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