yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
