i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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