I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize