she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
