Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
