you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
