..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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