love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
