Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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