I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
