hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
