If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
