You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
