I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
