I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
