is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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