so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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