Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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