fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize