walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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