But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
