rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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