after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I believe in your delicious
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
