I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
