Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
