remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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