oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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