Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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