I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize