just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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