benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
