the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
