Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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