Im at strip club and am horny
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
