Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
