Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize