Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
