everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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