I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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