Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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