xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Michael Bay diarrhea
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize