FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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