how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
