She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
