it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
