Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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