I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
