The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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