there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
