honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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