we have pet lesbian snakes
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize