Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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