My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
