How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize