It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
