D3 body, D1 cock
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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