I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
