and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
