Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
