my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He passed out mid-signature
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize