how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
