Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
